By Caroline Graham
It starts with a solitary wail but quickly reaches a crescendo of ear-piercing proportions. As eight hungry babies howl for their supper, their mother Nadya Suleman holds up her hands and says with a weary sigh: "Welcome to the music of my house."
Within seconds, the children's four full-time nannies start the well-rehearsed process of seating the children at their specially made semi-circular table with its eight bright yellow plastic seats.
Gradually, the noise subsides and a greedy, slurping calm descends as each is given a bottle.
Nadya, you may recall, achieved overnight celebrity last January when she gave birth to the world's second surviving set of octuplets - the first set, the Chukwu children of Houston, Texas, will shortly celebrate their 11th birthday.
But fascination with the so-called "Octomom" turned to almost universal revulsion when it was revealed that the 34-year-old is single, unemployed and already had six children under the age of eight. Furthermore, all 14 of her brood were conceived through IVF using the sperm of Nadya's ex-boyfriend, a man who says he wants no part in their future. Even worse, she was claiming about R31 000 a month from the state of California in food stamps and benefits.
Multi-million-dollar endorsement deals from nappy and baby-food companies were quickly rescinded. Nadya received dozens of death threats, had an army of paparazzi camped on her doorstep and became the butt of tawdry jokes.
But today they live in a detached, four-bedroom house in a quiet cul de sac in a family neighbourhood of Los Angeles, bought from the proceeds of a R6,24-million deal with an American magazine.
And it is impossible not to be moved by the sight of eight 10-month-old babies lined up at dinner time.
They are, Nadya insists, remarkably healthy and are regularly tested. "They are still young, but at the moment they are perfect. If they do develop problems, we will deal with it. But, touch wood, they are good so far," she says.
In this, her first in-depth interview - timed to coincide with Britain's Channel 4 documentary Octomom: Me And My 14 Kids on Thursday - Nadya attempts to turn back the tide of negative publicity which has seen her demonised as, first, a scrounger and then someone looking to cash in on her babies. "I just don't understand why people hate me. I went from being Nadya to this caricature called Octomom. I'm just like any other struggling single mother trying to do what's best for her babies," she says.
Nadya is a slight figure, weighing just 50kg - down from her pregnant weight of 107kg.
It is a warm Californian afternoon and the octuplets are taken into the garden by two of the babies' four full-time assistants.
Nadya's three eldest children Elijah, eight, Amerah, seven, and Joshua Jack, six, are still at school.
Her severely autistic four-year-old son Aiden is asleep upstairs, as are her three-year-old twins Calyssa and Caleb.
Nadya says her lonely upbringing as the only child of immigrant parents lies behind her lifelong desire for a big family. Her father Ed was born in Palestine and is a translator in Iraq. Her mother, Angela, is a Lithuanian retired teacher who lives 15 minutes away from Nadya.
The two women are estranged after Angela said in an interview that her daughter was "an unfit mother" whose actions were "unconscionable".
Says Nadya: "My mum never stopped telling me that she didn't want children. I was always so lonely. I longed for babies. I had a hole inside that I knew only babies would fill."
She was married at 19, but the relationship crumbled after she suffered a series of miscarriages and was told her only hope of motherhood lay with IVF.
At 24, Nadya was injured during a riot at a psychiatric institution where she worked. She was awarded R1,9m compensation and her quest for children began through a fertility clinic: "I had this platonic friend. He had been more than a platonic friend on one occasion, and I asked him to help. To my surprise he said 'yes'.
"Once Elijah was born, I knew I wanted more. I did it with the donor's knowledge. He made sperm donations six times. I kept going back. When I held my babies in my arms, I felt a love and a bond I had never known before."
Did she ever feel concerned about bringing so many babies into the world without a father?
"Looking back, I admit I made immature decisions. I wanted children to fill a hole in me. Perhaps it was selfish. Some people get addicted to drugs. I got addicted to having babies."
She says she planned to have "only one more" when she was impregnated with six embryos - two subsequently split to produce a total of eight babies.
Medical protocol says that only two to three embryos should be implanted in cases such as hers and her doctor, Michael Kamrava, has since been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.
The last time she spoke to the biological father of her children - who is now married - was shortly before the birth of the octuplets.
Her eight babies were delivered on January 26 - Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariyah, Jonah, Jeremiah, Josiah and the surprise baby Makai, who had not been detected during her pregnancy. She insists she currently does not take a penny from the state, surviving instead on money she earns from photographs of the octuplets and various television projects.
Her finances are handled by her lawyer, Jeff Czech, who pays her bills and has set up individual trust funds for each of the octuplets.
She bristles when asked if she is "cashing in". "Look, I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't," she says angrily. "I don't take money from the state and I have to put food on the table. My costs are enormous. I can't go out and get a conventional job because my babies need me here. So the one thing I can sell is them but if I do that, people attack me."
Nevertheless, she manages to employ six staff: four nannies during the day (two for the octuplets and two for the older children) and then a woman who comes at 6pm to help with bathing and bedtime and a night nurse who stays with the octuplets in their downstairs nursery while Nadya and the older children sleep upstairs.
Food costs a further R31 200 a month: "We get through four gallons (15 litres) of milk a day. We do eight to 10 loads of laundry each day. Yes, I sell pictures of the children and I've sold TV rights but is that exploiting them? You decide. I don't really have time to worry about it... I didn't set out to have this life."
Does she honestly believe she can be a good mother to all 14 and give each child the attention it deserves?
"No, I don't think any mother can give a child the attention it deserves. And, yes, I agree with you that in my circumstances that is impossible. I have help and I do my best. You can't undo what I have done. The babies are here. I just have to get on."
In another disturbing scene in the documentary, Nadya is seen screaming at her mother. Today, she says she is attempting a rapprochement: "I am trying to teach my children about forgiveness and love but when your own mother sells you out to the tabloids it makes you distrustful.
"I talk to my mother on the phone now and we are trying to work things out."
She adds: "I think we both need to see a shrink."
Nadya admits to getting confused between her brood.
"When you have all the babies going crazy, it's hard to tell one from the other. With the older ones it's 'Hey you' or 'Whateveryour-name-is.'"
Throughout our two hours together, she becomes most animated when I compliment her on her figure.
"Oh thank you, I think it is most important to stay strong and healthy, for my own sake and my children's."
She manages to fit a two-hour workout into her routine. "Most days I get up at between 5 and 6am. The day staff arrive at 6am and they feed the babies and we get the older kids ready for school and then I take the kids to school.
"Most mornings, I will either come back and spend time with the babies or take myself off to a local library to write my book."
The book is another attempt to provide income for her family.
"Then it's lunchtime, and in the afternoon we go to the park with the octuplets and then the older kids come back from school and it's feeding and bathing and all the madness of getting everyone ready for bed," she says.
"I don't normally sit down until 10pm."
Would she consider having any more babies? "Oh definitely. There is always room for one more. But only if I was married." - Mail on Sunday