If you think it couldn’t happen to you, think again – How to avoid falling victim to the likes of ‘The Tinder Swindler’ and Anna Delvey

Experts believe that it shouldn’t come as a surprise at how easy it was for the likes of Sorokin and Hayut to gain people’s trust. Supplied image.

Experts believe that it shouldn’t come as a surprise at how easy it was for the likes of Sorokin and Hayut to gain people’s trust. Supplied image.

Published Feb 19, 2022

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Johannesburg - As Valentine’s Day celebrations continue throughout February, the world has been fixated on the shocking shenanigans of elite level con artists, many of whom prey on their lovers.

People from all walks of life have fiercely debated The Tinder Swindler as well as Anne Delvey, central figures of notorious Netflix shows released this month.

And while the so-called The Tinder Swindler is based on real life events, every episode of Inventing Anna begins with the tongue-in-cheek disclaimer that “this whole story is completely true, except for all the parts that are totally made up”.

But Anna Delvey, the con artist pen name of Anna Sorokin who successfully scammed her way into the New York City social elite by pretending to be a rich German heiress, reportedly managed to even deceive those close to her.

Anna Sorokin sits at the defense table in New York State Supreme Court, in New York, Wednesday, March 27, 2019. She is on trial on grand larceny and theft of services charges alleging she swindled $275,000 in a 10-month odyssey that saw her jetting to Omaha and Marrakesh. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)

Like convicted fraudster Shimon Heyada Hayut, aka Simon Leviev, she created the perception of wealth to siphon millions from those who could fund her flashy life of private jets, designer clothing, five-star hotels and yachts.

But some experts believe that it shouldn’t come as a surprise at how easy it was for the likes of Sorokin and Hayut to gain people’s trust.

Shimon Hayut has been banned from a series of dating apps. File image.

Psychiatrist Prof Renata Schoeman, head of the MBA Health Care Leadership programme at the University of Stellenbosch Business School (USB) explained that it is not as straightforward as assuming that people are merely gullible.

“The exploitative tactics used by Leviev to identify vulnerable targets and his predatory drive for domination, financial extortion and deceit indicates psychopathic behaviour and that it is enormously difficult to catch a psychopath in the act.

“They are pathological liars who purposefully deceive people to conceal their modus operandi.”

Schoeman added that con artists often strategically plan their deceitful stories and use their superficial charm to get others addicted.

“This leaves people doubting their valid suspicions and ending up as the victim.”

Meanwhile, Davina Myburgh, director of consumer interactive at TransUnion Africa, had similar sentiments.

“If you think it couldn’t happen to you, think again,” she warned.

“Every day, people either take out loans for other people, or sign guarantorship for someone else’s loans.”

Schoeman believes that psychopathic tendencies, such as those of The Tinder Swindler and Anna Delvey, are not only reserved for romantic encounters.

“Psychopaths stalk office corridors too, with lasting mental health impacts on their victims. The manipulation, deception, inflated self-opinion and back-stabbing of the corporate psychopath can cause work-related depression, anxiety disorders, burnout and physical illnesses; conditions which cost the South African economy more than R40 billion annually,” Schoeman said.

Myburgh said that the financial repercussions of falling victim to such con artists are damaging and long-lasting.

“If, for any reason, there are defaults on the agreement you could be putting your credit record at great risk and this can take several years to recover from and what few people realise is that it’s not only late or missed payments that put a dent in your credit score, or make lenders wary.

“Taking out too much credit in a short space of time can be damaging to your credit rating, and your ability to get credit in the future and if you’re taking out those loans for someone else, no matter what the reason, the risks to your financial health increase exponentially.”

Julia Garner as Anna Delvey in episode 102 of Inventing Anna. Cr. Aaron Epstein/Netflix © 2021

Myburgh recommended the following credit items that concern lenders and how to avoid them.

Too many loan applications

Myburgh said that there’s no problem with opening a new credit card account, or taking out a revolving credit facility, but if you suddenly open two or three new credit facilities in a short space of time it signals to lenders that you might be in financial trouble. “At the very least you’ll be attracting attention the next time you ask your bank for credit,” she said.

Someone else’s debt

The director of consumer interactive at TransUnion Africa said that signing a surety on a loan for someone else can land you in financial trouble if they don’t meet their payments. “You will be held accountable, and it will reflect on your credit report and affect your credit score negatively.”

Lots of ‘hard’ credit enquiries

Every time you apply for credit, Myburgh said that lenders will draw a credit report. “Many people don’t realise that too many ‘hard inquiries’ to check your credit worthiness can negatively impact your credit score as it can be seen as a sign of financial stress. A lender should tell you and request your permission before conducting this type of search, so make sure that you’re only applying for credit when necessary to avoid dragging down your score.”

Anna Sorokin arrives in New York State Supreme Court for her trial on grand larceny charges, in New York, Wednesday, March 27, 2019. She is on trial on grand larceny and theft of services charges alleging she swindled $275,000 in a 10-month odyssey that saw her jetting to Omaha and Marrakesh. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)

Schoeman also listed the following warning signs about potential ‘psychopaths’ who could damage your credit and finances:

- Psychopaths can disengage and detach themselves from relationships just as quickly as they attached themselves in the first place. Due to their inability to truly connect with people, they will abruptly, coldly and ruthlessly drop anyone if they are not useful anymore.

- Superficial charm.

- False, inflated sense of self driven by their disproportional ego.

- Entitlement.

- A need to impress you or those they meet. Look out for patterns of steering or starting conversations that would positively influence your opinion of them.

- Incapacity to love or show remorse.

- Excessive impulsivity and at times reckless behaviour.

- Sudden rages when you cross them or things don’t go their way.

- Constant conversations about their own achievements and good fortune, with a preference to discussions that centre on the materialistic.

- Patterns of calculated manipulation of people or situations in order for their own benefit.

- Unstable or lack of relationships. Psychopaths are not able to maintain friendships, don’t have good ties with their family and have no mutually, appreciative long-term connections. Their relationships are shallow and purely for the short-term in order to reach their self-serving goal.

- Psychopaths would rarely share their journey, goals or dreams with you. They have a calculated plan and want to make sure you are not privy to this information in case you become suspicious or worse, you steel their idea.

This is Schoeman’s advice on how to you safeguard yourself:

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

In romantic relationships, keep some mystery about yourself and refrain from sharing too much, too soon.

Don’t move too fast in a relationship, even if he has a jet, take your time before joining him on a trip.

Trust your gut – if you feel that you are being manipulated, you probably are.

Seek out the opinion of your friends and family, and in the office context, your colleagues or a mentor. They can be objective and offer perspective to help you stay true to yourself.

Romance can literally sweep one off one’s feet but try to stay level-headed, maintain your independence and don’t attach yourself to this person’s life too quickly.

If you suspect anything untoward, keep a record of all communications.

Never part with your personal information or money at the start of a new relationship.

The Saturday Star